OK!
LISTEN CAREFULLY,,,,,,......... WILL SAY THIS ONLY ONCE,,,
I've got a FULL bottle of Drambuie, it's sitting on the table with a black
background. Every time I take a shot the camera averages the scene out to
be
18% grey (as it should!!!! (****!! I NEW that!!!) ) and the black
background ain't black.......... So ,,... I've got THREE QUATERS
of a bottle of Drambuie on the table. I set the camera ( EOS 5D )
to custom white balance, after taking a shot of a white subject....... (as
per Canon instructions )... and setting that as the custom white
balance......and I've still got grey!!!!!!!.... I know!!!,, I can put
a
grey card in the first shot and sort it out in CS3 later but after a
quarter
of a bottle of Drambuie I want to do it "in camera"...... I'm stuborn.. so
there!!!! **** you............................ I've got
HALF a bottle of Drambuie, a little light is showing through it but the
background is still brasicly blaack..... Rightio I've tried
sevr..severi....several different exposures, over and under, **** knows
why
I tried overexposing,,,,,,,( yeah, yeah, ok I know!) BUT it just
allowed
more time to unschrew the cap I reckon,,, I recon, I do,
(YESHHH..........
it's a newisshhh bottle of Drrambuie, they did away with the cork
(WHY!!!!!!), thew ( ooops missed) (start again) the cork,,(caught up) they
now have a "scrwe",,,,...... NOPE..." screw
cap"............................... I've got a QUARTER of a
bottle of Drambuie sitting on the table with a blackish sort of
background...... I can't get the ****in' camera to focus......... (f u c
k
i n ' C a n o n) ....... but that doesn't matter!!!!!!!...... the
background's shtill a greyish sort of colour or shhhum sort of that sot of
shhhit!! I juast reeeaed a book but thaaat din't hellup..sayyyyd
sumpinn
but wus too mennieee
words.........................................................................
THE ****IN BOTTLES EMPTY!!!!........ **** WHATA I DO NOW!!!!.......
Lights Flooding Through the bottle.....the shot's rooond......... THE
DAY'S
RUIINED.........what the hell do I do now....................OH
OK?!!................. DON'T PANNIC .........DON'T PANIK!!!? !!.......
Here's another Bottle!!.....(thank you dear) Settle Down,,, take It
easy,
Deep breaths. NOPE it's blurry and it's grey........... HOW THE **** DO
I
PHOTOGRAPH BLACK!!!!!!!! (or to make it interesting...................HOW
DO I PHOTOGRAPH WHITE) It's getting dark..................Why's the floor
sooooo close to my nose..................... Yes dear,,............. I'm
coming to bed........ ( oh no not MORE ***!!!.............when will it
end!!!!!!!!!).........................................................
(WHEN
WILL IT END!!!!) I love Photography.........(I think)
--
as the mayor of Hiro****ma said
" WHAT THE **** WAS THAT!!!!!!!!!"
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